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Battle for New Bregna (or Ink City).
lovethedemiurge wrote in ink_logs
Where: The Water Tower
When: After this
Who: Greed, Rigby, Yakko, and Trevor.
What: Trevor decides to tidy up unfinished business.
Warnings: Toon violence with a slight aftertaste of regular violence. 

[The former Chairman waited in a deserted building, watching the tower from across the street. It had been a few minutes since he called his second-in-command. He stood dressed in full Breen battle garb, the room stockpiled with tranquilizer guns, dormant sentinel robots, and even a few smoke bombs. He wasn't to leave anything to chance. He made a two mistakes: one, he underestimated the extent of these creature's violence and two, he gave Yakko a chance to escape. He would rectify those mistakes this time. They wouldn't catch him offguard. They wouldn't get the chance to escape. Here, he would take the two biggest obstacles to New Bregna in one fell swoop. All he had to was wait for Greed's arrival and soon it would begin...]



I offered you the chance to share your knowledge. Now...

[He aims the rifle.]

...now there is no other choice.

Okay. Since you insist.

[Yakko casts Summon Chorus Girls! places fingers in his mouth and gives a loud whistle. And these girls show up on cue because he can do that. (0:31 and forward.)]

Hit it!

[And now, the scenery pulls away to reveal a generic rock band, and the 'real' scenery behind them - same thing as before, really. With that, Yakko's pulled out a guitar. Nope, we're not pulling ANY stops here, whatsoever.
If you're not familiar with Pretty Fly For A White Guy or one of its parodies, you somehow managed to skip a good part of the 90s. I don't know how to help you. If you are, read on.

And yes, Rigby's fully been informed of this.
Sung is italics, not sung isn't. There's not much actual tune in this song, though there are toons in it now.]



[C. girls] Give it to me baby [Yakko/Rigby] uh huh, uh huh
[C. girls] Give it to me baby [Y/R] uh huh, uh huh
[C. girls] Give it to me baby [Yakko] Helloooo, nurse!
[Yakko] And all the ladies say I'm pretty fly for a toon guy.

[WHAT-
How--
Right now Trevor's officially weirded out. He expected alot from these two, but summoning not only a backdrop but actual people?!!! Clearly, he underestimated their power. The music doesn't help at all.]

What is this strange ritual?!

[Completely ignores Trevor's question, instead just metaphorically singing his heart out.]

[Rigby] You know it's kinda hard just to get a laugh today
Our subject isn't smart, but he thinks so anyway
He may not have a clue and he may lack a brain
But everything he lacks means that he can entertain!

[Both] Don't be downcast, have a blast -
You know he doesn't get it, that we'll guarantee
Gonna play a joke, till your brain is broke
For you use ACME, for you use ACME
If you don't get it right just add some dynamite
At least you know you can always rerun on late night
The world needs comedy-
Hey, hey! Do that funny thing!

[Trevor has no idea why these creatures have suddenly begun singing or where these women have come from. But why not try to recuit? He comes up to one of the chorus girls, kissing their hand with an eyebrow wiggle.]

Yes, I have a proposition to make...

[The chorus girl just laughs him off, but in that annoying way that doesn't exactly mean refusal. Yakko just watches the exchange.. or lack of one, highly entertained.]

[C. girls] Give it to me baby [Yakko/Rigby] Uh huh, uh huh
[C. girls] Give it to me baby [Y/R] Uh huh, uh huh
[C. girls] Give it to me baby [Yakko] Helloooo, nurse!
[Yakko] And all the ladies say I'm pretty fly [C. Girls](For a toon guy.)

[Yakko] He needed weaponry, not the normal ones, you see
But he didn't have much time so he ordered from ACME
Now bringing out the big guns watch him give a giant show
But if he tries to use it then it's him who's gonna blow!

[He views the song as nothing more than childish taunting. Now, back to propositioning the chorus line. He chuckles back.]

Perhaps you'd be interested in a more...prominent position.

[She giggles again and says something like 'Oh, but I can't leave Yakko~', but still says it in a cheerful way as if Trevor was asking if she wanted a kitten.]

[Both] Don't be downcast, have a blast -
You know he doesn't get it, that we'll guarantee
Gonna play a joke, till your brain is broke
For you use ACME, for you use ACME
If you don't get it right just add some dynamite
At least you know you can always rerun on late night
The world loves comedy-
Hey, hey! Do that funny thing!

[Yakko] Now he's getting a contract yeah, he's getting it signed
He asked for something recent but got 1995.
[Rigby] We say he's trying too hard, and his lectures stink
But in his own mind he's God's - he's God's gift to ink!

[C. girls] Give it to me baby [Y/R] uh huh, uh huh
[C. girls] Give it to me baby [Y/R] uh huh, uh huh
[C. girls] Give it to me baby [Y/R] uh huh, uh huh

But I can offer you Yakko in tenfold...

[He turns to Yakko and Rigby.]

Please cease your ceremonial chanting!

[The chorusgirl pretends to think about that for a moment. And Yakko steps in to intervene here - "Might as well fold. I'd offer her that in ten seconds."
Meaning he joins in a bit late, but it's worth it. The things you can get away with when there aren't censors.]


[Rigby] Don't be downcast, have a blast -
You know he doesn't get it, that we'll guarantee
[Both] Gonna play a joke, till your brain is broke
For you use ACME, for you use ACME
If you don't get it right just add some dynamite
At least you know you can always rerun on late night
The world needs comedy-
The world loves comedy -
Let's get some more comedy - yeah
Hey, hey! Do the funny thing!

[Trevor finds this quite perplexing annoying.]

Enough. I'd like to know how you summoned these...women.

[Makes a wink at one.]

Like this!

[Snaps his fingers. And they all dash offscree-- I mean, out of sight. Complete with brief animation smears to hasten the illusion of speed.

Say bye bye, Trevor. You never had a chance with them.]

[They liked him, they were just playing hard to get! Yeah, that's it!]

I'm finished with your tricks and illusions.

[With a push of button from his pocket, a worm-like robot crawls from the ground and looms over them.]

Both of you are to come with me. Now.

Don't worry, dude, I got it

[Quick changes into a baseball player.]


Batter up!

[And pulls out a fish.]

Aw, c'mon! This thing sucks!

[Throws the fish at Trevor's face and starts running away.]

[You know, Rigby'd even been warned about exactly that happening. You'd think it'd have had some effect...

It's not possible to sound more sarcastic here.]

I can tell.

[Well, running away again! He takes off after Rigby]

[There is a fish. There is a fish ON HIS FACE. What is this he doesn't even...

Give him a moment, he needs to register the fish on his face. Might wanna watch that robot giving chase, though...]

[More running!]

Got any good ideas, dude?

[And yet more running.]

Ahhh... just one!

[That he now has to come up with in the next second or two.]

[Those better be some pretty fast seconds since that worm-like machine is still crawling after the toons.]

[Seconds enough for him to snap his fingers, screech to a halt. He waits for the worm-like machine to draw just a little closer before pulling a pungi out of his pocket.

Betcha can guess what happens next.

If you said 'he starts in on "The Streets of Cairo" aka That Snake Charmer Song, you'd be right. Let's see if that works.]

[Congratulations, Yakko, your savvyness wins again. The machine stops moving. With a click, it rises. The music makes it bob its head and sway like a drunk cobra.]

[He starts laughing at the sight.]

I didn't know that worked on robots, dude!

[For pretty obvious reasons Yakko doesn't reply. Instead, he looks ever so smug, and slowly moves around before pointing with an ear back the way they'd come, seeing if he can 'charm' the thing into racing the opposite direction.]

[Bregna is not well-know for it's brilliant AI technology. Taking the bait, the machine charges in the complete opposite direction. If Rigby and Yakko are gonna take the initiative to run, they better do it now.]

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